Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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