Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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