btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
