I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
