btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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