I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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