TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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