I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
