it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
