Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
