I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
