I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
