Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
