we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
don't judge my taste in strippers
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
