The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
