your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
