i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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