By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
