Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
