i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize