My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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