Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
