That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
