so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
