wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I cut my penus on the lid.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love you. Go after that dick
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize