Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
