Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
