bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
