is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
