She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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