NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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