I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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