I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
