is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
