If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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