Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
