doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
