he wants to bone in the snuggie
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize