She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
