just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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