We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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