I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
only you would photoshop your dick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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