i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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