69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
