i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Randomize
