I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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