): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So much Jack, so little girl.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
