Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
