I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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