Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize
