ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize