I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Couch. On fire.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
