If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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