Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I licked your asshole in confidence.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
