he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
