i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
