Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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