It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
