Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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