You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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