I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
