Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
