He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
