pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
