Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
