Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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