So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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