i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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