From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
