You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
