I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize