so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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