if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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