Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
