Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
