ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
