we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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