You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
