just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize