3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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