you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
