Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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