omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
