Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No subtext here. People are naked.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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